There are parts of my past that I’ve always preferred to see and speak of as very matter of fact. Why wouldn’t I? After all I was lucky enough to not really be affected by it. It felt appropriate to see and speak of it as very matter of fact. I mean, I was affected enough to know I had to: Grieve. Pray. Survive. But not affected enough to believe I needed much more than that.
Yet as I’ve matured in faith, I’ve prayed oh-so-boldly that God’s will prevail in my life. And I must say, I’m not sure that it’s God’s will that I go on merely surviving. Surely God’s provided the strength. Surely God’s sustained me. Surely God’s refined me. For many have shared with me I am:
Faithful. Friendly. Motivated. Passionate. Godly. Authentic. Spiritual. Positive . Humble. Approachable. Genuine. Kind. Generous. Inspirational. Down to earth. Fun loving, and fun, and loving. Creative. Very organized. Honest. Encouraging. Talented. Real. A fierce loving mother of kind, polite kids. Caring. Sincere. Strong. Forgiving. Loyal. An example to aim for. Bright countenance. Intelligent. Compassionate. Cheerful. Pleasant. Brave. Dedicated. Earnest. Mindful of my priorities. Thoughtful. Persistent. Unafraid. Not easy to give up on staying connected. Warm. Welcoming. (Oh, and maybe not completely relevant here, I’m also a beautiful, smiling, person with nice skin and killer legs, just so ya know).
All these positive qualities, none of which I could attain without God’s refinement. So surely, God’s been behind my surviving. It’s a God good thing for which I’m thankful.
I want to share with you what it is that I’ve come toe to toe with. What it is that’s shook me to my core. What it is that’s propelled confusion and weariness. What it is that I’ve survived. That is, sex abuse in childhood and in youth.
I’m not here to divulge details or place blame. Instead I’d rather share a story about how God has worked in my life in such a way, that I’m here, before it, ready to begin healing from it.
If you’d like to journey with me in this. Stay tuned.
Oh Priscilla, first my heart breaks for what happened to you, no child deserves that, as a fellow in arms I can say with complete honesty that God will see you through this time. Coming face to face with things that have happened in childhood can seem overwhelming and devastating however hold strong to the truth that you are beloved and never alone, and that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. I am excited for you, so much healing, so much growth, and so much love. I know we don't really know each other that well but if you ever need an ear from someone who has been there please don't hesitate.
ReplyDeleteThank you Becky for sharing it means so much.
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